Through Shadow and Doubt
by marvelchick
Summary: Ithilwen of Lindon is exposed to the terrors of Middle-earth when an attack almost takes the life of her beloved cousin, Legolas. Seeking refuge in the Golden Wood, she soon falls into a complicated love affair with Haldir the Marchwarden. REVIEW PLEASE!
1. In the Glittering Caverns

**AN**: Hello everyone! Thank you for taking interest in my humble fic, I promise it will be worth it. A few things before you start reading, **DON'T BE DISCOURAGED BY THE FIRST CHAPTER!!!!!!!! **It may seem depressing at first but I promise that it has a happy ending. J The english translations for elvish phrases and words will be located at the end of the page. Oh, and I obviously don't own anything but the OC's. Happy reading!

Ithilwen stood looking upon the mighty silver shores of the Grey Havens. Deep in thought she stood, the foamy breeze blowing her golden hair and iridescent gown to and fro. It seemed only yesterday, and not the century that had truly passed, since she had gazed into the deep blue eyes of her beloved. Haldir, marchwarden of the Golden Wood, had passed into the shadows, it seemed, but a little while ago. Her face contorted in pain at the thought of her husband's passing. The overwhelming grief still coursed through her veins after all these years. It would never go away, she knew this, and yet found strength within herself to keep from fading. All for the sake of her child, now a grown elf with a little one of his own. Appropriately enough, a child's tinkling laughter interrupted her musings and brought a faint smile to her lips. Her grandson ran to her arms and she picked him up, much to his delight.

"Meldarion! I'm sorry **naneth**, he slipped away from me," her smiling son stated as he joined them and playfully ruffled the little one's hair.

"Oh, it is no bother. I always have time for my favorite grandson!" she tickled him a bit after that. Meldarion laughed generously and said in a loud voice, "But I'm your _only_ grandson!" Ithilwen's laughter rang out onto the harbor, bringing a warmth to her eldest son's heart. She laughed so seldom nowadays.

"My dear, you would be my favorite were your father to have a hundred little ones!" Meldarion smiled widely, and smugly, and promptly began to wiggle in her arms. Ithilwen let him down, and watched fondly as he scampered away, looking for adventure.

"He is a wild one."

"Aye he is, takes after his father," Ithilwen smiled one last time and sighed, turning her gaze once more to the surf.

"**Adar**?" he asked, already knowing the answer. It was always about his father.

"Of course **ion ****nîn**," she replied wearily. Erynion draped his arm around his mother's painfully thin shoulders and sighed. "Take heart **nana**, for we shall soon be departing for Valinor," his eyes shone as he spoke, "there will your troubles be lightened, if not lifted altogether." She smiled slightly and let her head rest against her son's shoulder. She closed her eyes and thought, as she so often did in times of great sorrow, of the early days of Haldir's and her love. How handsome he was, with his fine armor! She had thought this the first time they met. And this despite his men aiming his drawn bow to her face. Smiling happily, she let the memories overtake her, washing over her body, healing her if only for a moment.

**1,000 years earlier**

"LEGOLAS GREENLEAF YOU _ORC_!" The outraged elleth chased after her dearest friend, murder on her mind. "How _could_ you! You have ruined my new gown!!!" Legolas, prince of Mirkwood, scampered quite ungracefully up the nearest tree in a desperate attempt to escape Ithilwen's wrath.

"I didn't know it was new!" the elf protested in a reedy voice. "It was just a bit of spilled wine, no need to turn into Morgoth himself!" He ducked as Morwen chucked her shoe at him.

"You feather brained elf! I was going to wear that to Mithlond, to greet my father." Her grey eyes moistened and she turned from Legolas and slid down against the tree. "What am I to do now?" she said in a pitiful voice, and Legolas had no choice than to come down from the tree to comfort his friend.

"It's going to be alright, 'wen," Legolas smiled comfortingly, "You have lots of pretty gowns, and you look lovely in all of them." When he recieved no response he added, "I truly am sorry to have ruined your gown. Will you forgive me?" He looked so forlorn that the elleth had to laugh.

"There is nothing to forgive, Legolas. It was only a silly thing, I'm sure I'll find something suitable to wear."

"But weren't you having hysterics but a moment ago?" he asked utterly perplexed.

"Would you like me to keep being angry? Because I can accomodate you if you like." she said with a raised eyebrow. The prince's eyes widened and he shook his head fervently.

"I thought so," she smirked. "Now, would you mind walking with me to the library? I have been meaning to read of Luthien and Beren's tale once more."

"Sure I will, but don't expect me to join you once we're there. You know I take no delight in such things." Ithilwen snorted and rolled her eyes as he passed her her shoe.

"I had noticed," she said. "You practically live in the archery fields." Legolas shrugged. He loved archery, what was there to say? He stood up and offered her his arm, just like his father would have. She smiled brightly and took his arm as they lazily made their way to the caves of Thranduil's realm. For all of their young lives, they were only three-hundred, Legolas and Ithilwen had been the closest of friends. Legolas' temperament had always been that of the adventurous one, the curious one, and more often than not, the harebrained one. He was clueless when it came to ellyth, therefore Ithilwen was sometimes a mystery. She was his cousin, and dearest of friends, but sometimes when he saw her he just wanted to turn in the other direction and run, as fast as he could from her unpredictable mood swings.

**...**

Later that evening, Ithilwen found herself before Sanya, the dressmaker, discussing whether her gown could be saved.

"Perhaps if you removed the skirt altogether and replace it? Maybe with that nice golden fabric you showed me the other day," she suggested.

"I could. But it would be very plain. I have not the time for any embroidery." Sanya was as kind an **elleth** as they came. She was exceedingly tall and spindly, very slim with waist-length brown hair and a sunny smile. Ithilwen had come to see her as a very close friend through the years. She bit her cheek, deep in thought. Before she could come up with an answer she heard her name being called behind her. She turned to see her uncle, Thranduil, striding purposefully towards the maidens. Sanya quickly went into a deep curtsy, mumbleing 'my lord' under her breath. Ithilwen simply smiled at her mother's brother.

"My lord, how are you this fine evening?" The large blonde elf smiled widely, revealing two adorable dimples.

"Very well my dear, thank you for asking. I only wanted to see if you had your things ready and packed for the day tomorrow, your escort leaves for Mithlond at first light you know," his eyes twinkled with mirth. "Be sure that they do not leave without you, for I know you are fond of your sleep." Ithilwen laughed lightly at this.

"I shall be sure to heed your advice uncle, for Elbereth knows that if given the choice I would not wake until well into the afternoon."

"Will you take a walk with me my dear?" the noble elf's tone had turned serious. "Of course," she turned to her friend. "Shall I meet you in your room later?" Sanya nodded at her friend. The King nodded his goodbye at the elleth. Once they were out of hearing distance Thranduil began to speak.

"I want you to know that you are always welcome to return to Mirkwood," he said sincerely. "I loved your mother very much before she passed into the halls of Mandos, and were it only for her sake I would extend this invitation. But I also have come to love you well niece, and I would be proud if you were to choose to live in my realm."

"Oh uncle, that is very kind of you. I love you very much as well, and would love to come visit as often as I can. I will certainly consider living here in the future." The king was glad to hear this.

"Good, for heaven knows that Legolas will be needing that sensible head of yours to keep him out of trouble," she smiled sadly.

"I will miss him deeply uncle," he nodded seriously.

"And I am sure he will miss you keenly. Especially your advise when it comes to the maidens of the Woodland Realm."

"Indeed," but her spirits had not been lifted. What would she do without her friend? Thranduil sighed.

"I shall escort you back to your rooms now my dear, I fear there are some things that require my attention. Tomorrow we will say our goodbyes, perhaps by then you will be ready for the journey."

"Yes uncle." But her thoughts were not swayed, and she kept thinking how lonely life would be in the Grey Havens with only her grandfather, Círdan the Shipwright, for company. Wallowing in self pity, Ithilwen made her way to Sanya's room to say goodbye to yet another loved one.

**Note on the Elvish used:** New words introduced into the story will be in bold and I will translate them at the end of each chapter. Elvish words that I use frequently I will not write in bold but I will continue to translate them as always.

**Translations:**

Ithilwen- moon-maiden

**Naneth**-mother

**Adar**-father

**ion nîn-**my son

**Nana**-mom

**elleth-female elf**


	2. The road to Lindon

**A/N**: Hello wonderful readers, here is the second chapter of my story. Hope you're liking it so far, also I would really appreciate some feedback. Thanks to Hope and Love for reviewing!

**Disclaimer**: Don't own a thing but the OCs and the plot.

"Oh Legolas, I still can't believe that your father permitted you to escort me to Mithlond." Ithilwen rode her grey mare happily beside her friend. Riding in a protective cirlcle around the royal elves were fifteen of Mirkwood's fiercest warriors.

"I was very persuasive," he smiled cheekily. "Actually I think it was because I looked so miserable yesterday." They both laughed at that.

"You will absolutely love the Grey Havens, Legolas." Ithilwen's eyes turned dreamy as she spoke. "The city is so beautiful, and the waters are so clear and blue that you only have to reach out your hand to catch a fish." Legolas looked at her as if she had gone mad.

"And why would I want to catch a fish? Anyway, all I require for comfort is a good archery field to practice in. I don't want to get rusty." The elleth rolled her eyes. "Of course. But perhaps some of the lovely maidens of my home land will distract you?" Legolas grinned sheepishly. "Perhaps, if they are as lovely as you say." Their light banter was cut short by Antien, one of the guardians sent to protect them.

"Please my lady, my prince, we must be silent around these parts. We are not yet out of the dangers of Mirkwood."

Ithilwen grimaced apologetically and proceeded to look forward quietly. Legolas just nodded and followed suit. They rode for some time without occurence, but when the party came to a fork in the path a strange, nauseating feeling at the pit of her stomach. She grew pale and swayed in her seat.

"Ithilwen? Are you alright?" Legolas asked, worried. "I'm fine, just a little nauseated. It should pass in a moment." Legolas was not convinced but agreed to move on. They were much too close to the southern part of Mirkwood to rest safely. As they rode, Ithilwen felt worse and worse until she was shaking and sweating like a mortal in a fever. She clung to the horse to keep from falling off and when Legolas noticed her distress, he left his own mount and joined her, keeping her upright with a strong protecive arm around her waist.

"Hold on 'wen. We'll soon be out of the forest and you will be able to rest properly." The elleth nodded weakly but the movement sparked a pain worse than any she had yet faced. She inhaled sharply, unable to scream her agony. She convulsed in her seat, Legolas barely keeping her from falling, until she was blinded by a light brighter than the sun itself, white hot in its power. Just as suddenly as it had come it disappeared and was replaced by a vision so horrible that she cried out in anguish. The whole of her escort lay dead before her, dark spiders as large as a horse devouring their flesh. Bile rose in her mouth and she looked away from the scene, only to encounter one more shocking than the last. There in the corner of the clearing lay Legolas himself, a particularly nasty spider gnawing at his belly. Behind him lay...behind him was none other than herself, stark dead. She came to at that instant drawing in a shuddering breath and looking around frantically with wild eyes. More than a dozen pairs of eyes looked worredly back at her. They were alive! She cried out in sheer relief.

" 'Wen! What happened?" Legolas was frantic behind her. "I don't know," her voice was hoarse with fright. She looked around her and was horrified at what she saw. It was the same clearing as the one in her vision! A feeling of dread overtook her.

"We must quit this place! Something terrible is about to happen," she choked out. Glandur, a guard named so for the shock of pure white hair that cascaded down his back, looked at her quizzically.

"I assure you my lady, we are quite safe. If any orcs were near we would have been aware of them," he said, a tad condescendingly.

"Not orcs, spiders," she hissed a split second before one of the giant offspring of Ungoliant descended from the heights above, screeching horribly as it did so.

"Run!" yelled Antien, drawing his sword in sync with the drawing of bows of the rest of the guard. Legolas swiftly turned the mare around and they all rode hard on the opposite direction of the monstrous creature. Some of the elves turned in their seats to fire into the spider's belly. The arrows all hit their mark, but they seemed only to anger the foul creature. They weaved frantically through the trees and were almost out of danger when another of Ungoliant's spawn descended right on top of Legolas and Ithilwen. Immediately Legolas covered his cousin's body with his own protecting her from the spider. Legolas managed to stab deep into its belly with one of his arrows sending the creature off of them, screeching in agony. They rode on and within half an hour they were outside the woods, safe for the moment but terrified and breathing hard. It was then that Legolas slid from the horse, unconscious.

"No! Legolas!" Ithilwen jumped from the horse kneeling immediately at his side. She discovered he had been bitten on his side. The wound looked deep and the edges had begun to turn dark with the poison. She looked up at the warriors, horrified and desperate. "Help him, he's been bitten!"

"There is nothing we can do m'lady, except go back to the woodland realm but," the commander hesitated, anguish written plainly on his somber features, "he will not last that far." Ithilwen cried out wordlessly, and felt her heart constricting in pain. She looked once more at her cousin's pained expression and returned her gaze sharply to Antien.

"Lothlorien!" she hissed sharply. "Are we not close to the Golden Wood? The Lady of Light would not refuse her aid, I am sure." Heads nodded in assent all around her.

"Have we anything to slow the poison?" she demanded. A young guard spoke up. "I've some Athelas in my bag, it is believed to have some healing properties, or so says my wife," he said anxiously, eager to help his prince. She nodded at him and he took th plant out of his bag, tearing off a piece and chewing it a bit before pressing it onto Legolas' wound. The prince stirred slightly but did not wake. Quickly they bound the wond and prepared to depart.

Antien and Glandur helped Legolas back unto Antien's horse, the warrior would be better equipped to hold onto the prince. Wordlessly they all began to ride as fast as they dared, to the south-east, to Caras Galadhon.

* * *

Within less than a day, the elven company were at the crossing of the river Anduin. "How is he?" asked Ithilwen in a low, frantic whisper. Antien looked grim.

"Not well lady. The sooner we reach Lothlorien the better for the prince." Ithilwen nodded once, forcefully, pushing down her despair. Weakness would not help Legolas now. Grimly they pushed on, so exhausted that they could barely stay on their mounts. Soon enough they reached the edge of the wood and entered it without pause. A mile into the forest, the woods became so dense that riding became almost impossible and they dismounted. A strong warrior by the name of Bregolien took the burden of Legolas' limp form. They had not taken more than three steps before they were surrounded by elves with drawn bows.

"**Daro**!" commanded what they assumed was the leader of the group. "What business have you in the Golden Wood?" His words were not spoken with malicious intent, but they were as firm and cold as ice. Ithilwen was enraged.

"Is courtesy so little valued in Lorien that you would threaten your fellow elves?" she spoke scathingly. "We are travelers of the Woodland Realm of the north. One of our company, Prince Legolas Greenleaf himself, is severely injured. All we seek is the help of Lady Galadriel to heal the son of the King of Mirkwood!" Her grey eyes flashed with temper and desperation. Despite her show of anger, Haldir saw truth in the elleth's eyes. The silver haired elf narrowed his eyes at her impertinent words but signaled for the others to lower their weapons. He bent to Legolas to inspect the wound and nodded grimly. Sharply he commanded his men, knowing that time was of the essence. "Rumil, run to the healing talan and bring a litter. You and Orophin will take the prince to Caras Galadhon as swiftly as possible!" He turned to the others as his brother ran into the trees.

"My name is Haldir o' Lorien, Marchwarden of the Golden Wood. I will escort you to the city myself." Just then Rumil came bearing a litter and swiftly he and Orophin placed the prince securely on it.

"I wish to go with him!" Ithilwen was loathe to let her cousin out of her sight. Haldir shook his head immediately. "You will only slow them down." The elleth looked as if she was about to protest but restrained herself visibly and nodded her assent. She gazed at her cousin with anxious eyes as he disappeared into the thicket. She was wringing her hands nervously, sick with dread, and did not hear the remark directed at her. "Lady?" Haldir sought her attention, annoyed at being ignored.

"Yes, did you say something?"

"I asked if you were the Prince's wife. I had not heard that he had bound himself to another." The maiden frowned at him.

"No," she replied. "I am his cousin, Ithilwen of Mithlond daughter of Cirdan the Shipwright." He nodded in understanding. "Shall we proceed?" he asked and did not wait for an answer but turned and walked into the thicket of the trees, expecting the Mirkwood elves to follow him. Ithilwen huffed in annoyance, but followed without complaint. They walked onward in silence but the Marchwarden's head was deep in thought. _Ithilwen of Mithlond is beyond beautiful_, he thought. Her radiantly golden curls reached her waist and her eyes were a grey so light that they seemed almost colorless, despite their blueish sheen. Even angry and exhausted she carried an air of nobility and grace that almost rivaled that of Galadriel herself. That was because she _was_ of noble birth, he reminded himself. And as such was out of his reach, he told himself sternly. Not that he wanted to start something meaningful with her, but an elleth that beautiful would certainly be welcome in his bed. Ithilwen. _Moon maiden indeed_, he thought. Her silver gaze seemed to be made of sweet moonlight; soft and delicate, like a lover's caress... Haldir shook his head and pushed the elleth from his mind. Such a highborn lady would not be interested in one such as he, being Captain of the Galadhrim would not avail him. Ilithwen was destined to join with some noble elf of the Grey Havens, or even with one of the sons of Elrond. The elleth in question was unaware of Haldir's interest, and indeed unaware of anything but her friend's wellfare. She bit her lip, wondering if he would be alright, wondering if he would live. Her eyes moistened and a single tear brimmed over. Quickly she brushed it away, hoping none had seen her.

Some time later Haldir paused in front of them and turned, announcing in a clear voice, "Welcome to Caras Galadhon, dwelling of Galadriel, Lady of Light, and Lord Celeborn, the wise." The sight before them was breath-taking. The golden mallorn trees stood proudly, light filled **talain** surrounding their branches. It was so beautiful Ithilwen felt she would weep, although that might very well be attributed to exhaustion.

So mesmerised was she that she tripped, most ungraciously, with a root. Before she fell, Haldir caught her, strong arms holding her aloft. She turned her head to thank him but gasped as she was sucked into another vision of the future. She saw herself standing upon a high **talan** in Lothlorien, Haldir stood behind her, his arms around her waist, her head resting upon his shoulder. Slowly she turned and kissed him softly and lovingly on the lips. The vision changed and suddenly she was standing before a procession of battle weary elves; her belly was large with child, Haldir's child she was sure, tears streaking down her face and both hands pressed to her heart in anguish. She saw herself shriek in pain as a pale, and lifeless Haldir was brought before her and she threw herself, weeping, over the Marchwarden's body. Back in reality, Ithilwen gave a cry of shock and looked into the intense cerulean eyes of the elf named Haldir, she admired their beauty for an instant before darkness enveloped her and she collapsed into his arms in a dead faint.

Some time later a cold, wet cloth was being pressed against her brow. Her eyes flutterred open and she immediately tried to sit up. "What happened?" she asked weakly, still very disoriented. She lay on the hard ground, her head cradled in the strong, warm arms of an elf. "You fainted, my lady," said a deep mellifluous voice. Ithilwen glanced sharply up, memory of her visions returning fast to her. She gazed upon this Haldir of Lorien and trembled with foreboding.

"You," she breathed, and scrambled out of his embrace. "You stay _far_ away from me, Marchwarden, for your sake and mine." The elleth's voice trembled with emotion, her eyes wide in terror. Haldir frowned in deep confusion.

"What could I have done, in the short time of our aquaintance, to earn such disdain from you, Lady?" The sincerity in his voice caused Ithilwen to sigh. "Nothing," she replied, "You have done nothing yet." She closed her eyes, a tear brimming over before she had time to stop it.

"Forgive me, I am not myself," she looked up at the warrior elf once more. "But heed my words, only heartache will come of this, if we let it." Haldir's eyes widened at this and he held her gaze unti she looked away in weakness. "I must see to Legolas at once," she said this in a stronger voice.

"But my lady you must rest! You are not well," a young female elleth, the one who wielded the wet cloth, exclaimed in distress. "I will see him if only for a moment, but I wish to seethat he is well and quell my fear." The elleth helped her to her feet and Haldir slowly backed up and walked away from them. His heart lurched in his chest. Had she guessed his attraction? But surely that would not warrant such a response, surely she would not be so repulsed by him to react the way she did? He shook his head to clear his thoughts. He would do as she wished, an elleth like that would only bring him pain.

* * *

Ithilwen entered the healing talan, hesitant at first, then running to Legolas' side when she noticed he was awake. She embraced him sweetly, but carefully, and did not let go for a good long while.

"Oh Legolas. I thought I would lose you!" she could not stop herself from weeping at the thought. "Don't you ever do something like that again you hear!" she berated him sternly. The elf only chuckled gently.

"I certainly will try dear cousin, if only to stay your wrath." he smiled at him through her tears. "I am told we are in Lothlorien." She nodded. "Have you met the Lady yet?"

"I have not had the pleasure. I only just arrived moments ago. Why have you?"

"Yes," his voice took on a dreamy quality. "She is magnificent, Ithilwen! Her hair seems to be made of sun beams, her smile lovelier than Elbereth's stars in the night sky." Ithilwen laughed at this.

"You seem to be quite enamoured cousin, but perhaps you should be wary of the Silver Lord. I've a feeling he would not appreciate such devotion," the elleth smiled playfully and Legolas grinned in return. Despite his playful manner, his skin was too pale and lacked its usual luster. Once more Ithilwen embraced the wounded elf and kissed his brow ever so gently. "I will return on the morrow, cousin, for I am so weary I can barely stand." She stood as Legolas nodded and she went to join the Lorien maiden whoo had escorted her thus far. "Will you take me to the guest talan? For I fear I cannot long remain alert and standing." The elleth agreed and showed her to her rooms. That night, Ithilwen and the Mirkwood guard slept better and more peacefully than they had in weeks. Their hearts rested and their strength was renewed, for they were cared for the by the power of Nenya and the Lady of Light herself.

**Elvish Translations:**

**Glandu**r-white

**Daro**-stop

**elleth**-female elf

**talan**-name for a dwelling in the mallorn trees of Lorien

**talain**-plural of **talan**.

**Review Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**


	3. Confrontations in the Golden Wood

**AN: **Okay guys, I'm getting no reviews....which sucks because I know that there have been a ton of hits on this story. **REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!! **I'm writing ahead and am almost finished with ch. 4 **but**__**if I get no reviews then I'm not going to bother posting for a while.**

**Disclaimer**: Don't own squat, you should know this by now... ;)

The days passed torturously slow in Lothlorien. Everyday that passed Legolas regained some of his former strength as he enjoyed the gentle ministrations of Lorien's healers, lovely _female_ healers. But although her cousin thoroughly enjoyed their stay, Ithilwen could find no such comfort. Visions of her future with the warden plagued her mind and despite all the powers of the Lady, she could find no rest at night. She sighed as she leaned against the golden tree that housed her cousin. It had been a week since she had last seen Haldir, he seemed to be avoiding her thank Elbereth. But to her chagrin, wherever she went her eyes forever sought him out. She dreaded, and longed, to meet him again. But when weakness threatened to overwhelm her, Ithilwen remembered the cold, white body of her visions. That slapped her back into reality. With a shuddering sigh, Ithilwen began to make her way back to her talan.

"What haunts your thoughts to make you sigh so, young one?" Ithilwen whirled towards the voice and found Lady Galadriel looking down at her, a soft smile gracing her already exquisite features. Ithilwen immediately sank into a deep curtsy.

"Rise, had we not established you would do that no longer?" Galadriel gently admonished, making the younger elleth's cheeks flame in embarassment.

"Of course, forgive me my lady." Galadriel smiled once more and said, "Will you not take a turn with me about my gardens? I desire to speak with you." Ithilwen nodded, wide eyed and followed the noble elleth down in the direction of the gardens. They walked in silence until Ithilwen could bear it no longer.

"Is it about the visions I've been having?" she blurted out, then lowered her head at her impertinence. But the lady only laughed lightly, the sound was that of silver bells in the wind. "In part," she conceded.

"You have not experienced such visions before, correct?" Ithilwen nodded, not knowing what to say. "It appears the Valar have gifted you with foresight, little one, it would do you very well to stay with me for a while as my ward, so that I may guide you through this most delicate ability." Ithilwen gasped and turned to the lady with desperate eyes.

"My lady, you honor me deeply with this, but I cannot ever stay in Lorien," she hesitated. "I've had a vision you see, a terrible vision of the future. I am sure it will come to pass if I were to remain." Galadriel nodded sagely.

"I also have become aware of that possible future, though it is not certain to pass." Her blue eyes seemed to pierce her very soul as the lady turned to her. "Nor will it be set in stone if you give _him_ your love."

"But my lady, how can I possibly chance such a thing! You _know_ what this would mean. I would pass along with him to the Halls of Mandos, forsaking all that I love in Arda, my family and friends, the child..." her voice broke on the last. "Nay! I could never let myself bring such grief unto those I love," she spoke passionately and through tears. She covered her face with her hands and let out a great shuddering sob. A warm hand pulled her to the lady and she gladly took the comfort offered. After the tears had passed Ithilwen looked up at the lady with such desperation that the lady's heart melted in compassion.

"What am I to do?" she breathed. Galadriel sighed and began to walk anew. "The path is not clear, young one, nor am I able to see the true outcome. All I can say with absolute certainty is that you must go to him." Galadriel stopped Ithilwen's imminent refusal with a hand and continued. "He must be made aware of this. Haldir is a beloved friend and a good elf. He deserves to know of his soul mate, despite any visions you may have." Ithilwen gasped. "Soul mate?" Galadriel nodded.

Ithilwen's face twisted in pain once more. "Then I would sentence him to death? No, this I will not do. I will speak to him as is your wish my lady, but I have made my choice, I will leave this wood, and that fate, forever." Galadriel's heart sank in her chest but she nodded and continued to lead her about her realm.

* * *

Haldir sharpened his sword methodically and effectively as he sat pensive in his talan. He did not understand why the elleth had said such things to him but he found he could not get her out of his mind. Shamefully and stupidly, at least to his own eyes, he had resorted to watching her from afar, shadowing her everywhere she went. She was unaware of this, of course, as he was skilled in concealment; and he felt as an elfling, obsessed and in love for the first time. He could gaze upon her for hours without respite and never tire, and he did this often enough. The lady had bid him stay in Caras Galadhon for a spell and he had been powerless to refuse her, literally. So deep was he in his thoughts that his hand slipped and he cut his thumb on his sword. "Damn it all to Mordor," he hissed, furious with himself for letting the elleth take over his mind so thoroughly. He looked around his talan for a clean linen to staunch the bleeding, for it was bleeding profusely for such a wound, and found nothing.

Cursing underneath his breath once more he opened his door to go to see if one of his brothers had what he needed...and stopped dead in his tracks. There she stood, the maiden Ithilwen, in all her golden glory waiting anxiously at his door. Her delicate hand raised as if she was about to knock and an expression of surprise, and dread he noticed, on her lovely features.

"My lord Marchwarden! I-I came here to speak with you, if you have a moment," her voice was breathy and uncertain. He rather liked it.

"Certainly," he said and made as if to let her in but hesitated. "I fear this may not be the best time, I was on my way to one of my brothers' as I seem to have injured my self in a fearsome battle against my sword." Concerned silver eyes came to rest upon his bleeding hand and she gave a little gasp. She looked up at him, and he could see she was holding back laughter. "I see the sword won milord," striving for seriousness and failing miserably, a small giggle escaping her throat.

"Indeed," he said, raising a dark eyebrow, an almost imperceptible smile gracing his lips.

"Forgive me I do not mean to laugh, but here let me help you with it." All embarassment aside she took his injured hand and led him inside the room to a water basin. Without ado, she immersed his hand, enveloped in her small ones, and gently cleaned all the blood that had dried on his skin.

"Oh it is not so bad, I see that you put up a good fight against your own weapon," she said with a small laugh that he could not help but join.

"I daresay the battle was fierce, even if I did not emerge the victor." She smiled shyly at him and his heart soared.

"Do you have some linen, in order to dry our hands?" Haldir smiled sheepishly, "I'm afraid thats what I was going in search for."

"Oh! Well, perhaps an old shirt?" she asked him. "A _clean_ one," her voice was playful once more. He found what she wanted immediately and they dried each others hands in silence. After a while, Haldir cleared his throat.

"You said you wanted to speak with me?" his voice was polite, but he dreaded her answer. Had she noticed him following? Had she come to rebuke him for his foolish actions?

"Yes I did," her voice was reserved once more and Haldir mourned the loss of her teasing. "Perhaps we should sit down." He nodded and directed her to the sitting area.

"Firstly, I must beg your forgiveness for my behavior. I fear I have not treated you as I should and for that I am deeply sorry."

"There is nothing to forgive, my lady. Though I was, and still am, very confused as to the reason behind such contempt." His voice and eyes were so sincere that her heart clenched in pain.

"That was the second reason that I came. The Lady of Light counseled me to reveal my reasons to you, for both our sakes." He waited patiently until she spoke again.

"I have recently discovered I have been gifted by the Valar with foresight. I have been having these visions of the future, terrible visions that haunt me, though they have saved my life at least once." She averted her face before continuing.

"The day that...well _that_ day, I had a vision. It was strong, and felt so real that for a moment I could not say which was the vision and which the reality." She gave a shuddered breath. "I saw you, my lord. Holding me atop one of the golden trees. We embraced each other with such love and contentment that I honestly did not want it to end." Ithilwen bit her lip, trying to mask her embarassment but was certain that she could not truly hide from Haldir. The ellon in question was shocked by her revelation, and awaited her next words eagerly.

"And when it did?" he asked, his voice low and almost husky.

"When it did," she continued hesitingly, "I saw myself with child, sitting in a bed that I now recognize to be yours. I was alone, instinctively knowing you were in grave danger and weeping bitter tears." She fought tears now at the memory. "Then, when I was sure I could not feel more pain, the vision shifted and you were brought to me." Against her will, the tears began to flow, she felt like such a weakling. "You were dead, and I felt such pain, such sorrow that I could not bear it and fainted in your arms." Without thinking, Haldir moved to stand before her and took her into his arms. He held her tightly, offering and taking comfort at the same time.

"That is why you warned me away," he whispered, already knowing the answer, She nodded against his chest. "I could not bear to be near you, lest that dreaded vision came to pass." Methodically he began to stroke her hair, soothing her, calming her until her weeping subsided.

"Do not weep lovely one," he whispered. "For such beauty should not be obscured by such sorrow." She looked up at him, surprised to hear such words. She frowned, confused at his tenderness. Shouldn't he be at least a bit distraught? She had just told him of a vision of his death after all. Her face was so earnest and sweet that Haldir could not restrain himself and kissed her full lips with his own. Gently his lips moved against hers and the warm feeling it evoked was so strong that it took a moment for Ithilwen to pull away.

"Have you not heard a word I said! This is impossible, we cannot succumb to these, these _feelings_!" She was outraged. Did he not believe her? Haldir only brushed a stray lock of hair from her face.

"Forgive me," he did not sound a bit repentant. After a moment he made as if to kiss her again but she sprung out of his reach, knocking back her chair in the process.

"What is _wrong_ with you?! Do you doubt the truth of my words? You have but to speak to the Lady to verify what I say is true." He moved to stand before her, and she immediately took a step back. He took a step forward. Ithilwen huffed in annoyance.

"I would never doubt you, Ithilwen of Mithlond, but I cannot deny what is in my heart. To say the truth, I have tried in vain to deny it to myself from the moment I first laid eyes on you." Her heart fluttered at his words, but she spoke sternly to him.

"This cannot be Haldir. As soon as Legolas is well enough to travel, I will quit this place, and you," she added cruelly. "Soul mate or not, I will not risk such a future." She spoke without thinking and realized it with his sharp intake of breath.

"Soul mate," he whispered. "You have seen this?" his voice was hoarse.

"No," she admited. "When Galadriel spoke of it to me, I was as surprised as you." He moved again and she found herself flat against the wall, the elf so close that his breath stirred the hair about her face.

"Ithilwen, to find the true mate of our soul is a precious gift not many are given." There were so many emotions passing through his face that she felt dizzy, or perhaps it was his proximity that caused this. "And yet you would spurn it without thought," he said disbelievingly. Her eyes flashed with temper.

"You think me a coward!" it was not a question but an accusation. She did not let him respond. "You are a selfish _beast_ of an elf. You would lay such heartache upon the ones you love? Perhaps you would have me fade from grief and join you in the Halls of Mandos in order to prove my courage!!!" He cringed at this. "And our child...you would condemn him to live alone, without his parents to guide him through life in Arda."

"And you would deny him his very LIFE!" She flinched at his words and his anger.

"It is better this way. Haldir, trust me." Haldir clenched his eyes shut. "I will not let you leave me Ithilwen. Not when I have barely begun to know you." She pushed him away and put some distance between them.

"You have not the power to stop me," she said defiantly, her chin raised at him. Haldir narrowed his eyes at her dangerously.

"My lady," he said in a low purring voice as he slowly approached her once more. When she was pressed against the wall, he leaned into her ear and whispered ardently, "Morgoth himself could not keep me from you," he said this as a vow, causing Ithilwen to shudder.

Shaken beyond belief, she strove to appear composed. "Perhaps Morgoth could not," she said in her haughtiest voice. "But my father will. Once I reach the Havens my father will never let you near me again. Cirdan the Shipwright is a powerful foe, when he is given enough cause. I am certain a pesky ellon pursuing his unwilling daughter will be enough to rouse his anger." Haldir merely raised an eyebrow in contempt at her threat.

"Then you shall never reach the Grey Havens," he said simply. She gasped, and before she knew what she was doing, she struck him across the face. She pushed her way past him towards the door. Haldir let her, his temper was too great to restrain at the moment, and he did not wish to say something he might regret. Without looking back, Ithilwen spoke to him once more.

"Heed my words _warden_," she made the word sound beneath her, as it rightfully was, he thought painfully. "And do not cross my path again, for I am also a foe not to be trifled with, and I am not without friends to protect me from you in Lothlorien." With that she left him, shuddering and sinking against a wall. His head pounded in pain, and his cheek was still stinging with the force of her blow. He closed his eyes and slid to the floor. He had spoken true to her, he would _not_ let the true mate of his soul escape him. Not while he had breath left in his body.

* * *

Ithilwen burst into the healing talan, completely distraught by what had just happened. Legolas was awake and sitting up in bed. He was speaking, or flirting was more accurate, amicably with a pretty elleth with light blonde hair. He stopped mid-sentence when he saw her and told the elleth politely and with a smile, "Will you give us a minute?" She of course complied, but not before shooting Ithilwen a dirty look that the she barely even registered. When she was gone, Ithilwen threw herself on the edge of the bed facing Legolas.

"We must leave this place." Her voice trembled and Legolas frowned with concern.

"What has happened?" she told him everything, from the visions to the fight she had just had with Haldir. When she was finished, he was silent for a while, pondering what the best thing to do was.

"We shall depart in a week's time," her stopped her protest with a look. "I am not yet well enough to travel, **meldis**, or we would leave this instant." Relieved, Ithilwen nodded, happy that he understood.

"Thank you, **meldir**, I am in your debt." She made as if to rise but he caught her arm and bade her sit.

"I am not finished," she raised her eyebrows, waiting. "I will speak to the Lady and Lord about this, for it is my right as Prince of Mirkwood to request what I wish, within reason. Also I plan to have words with this Haldir. While I live, no **ellon**, be he soul mate or no, will not force you into doing something against your will." There was a strange glint in his eyes that suggested a deep anger. "A Mirkwood guard will accompany you now wherever you wish to go, they will keep unwanted company at bay."

"Legolas, do you not think that you are taking this too far? Guards are a bit much," she said earnestly.

"You will not even see them, or be hindered by them," he said sensibly, "but they will be near you nevertheless." Ithilwen sighed, not liking this, but knowing she would not win.

"Alright, it shall be as you say, but I pray that you are not cruel to Haldir," he was surprised to hear this and it showed on his face. "He is a good elf," she explained, "and is pained greatly by this situation. It is not his fault that fate has dealt so cruelly with us," she whispered the last part and Legolas heard the pain in her voice.

"My dearest cousin, I would spare you this sorrow if I could."

"I know," she said simply and embraced her cousin lovingly, knowing she was safe in his care. To her shame, however, part of her wished to _not_ be so safe; part of her wished to be with _him_, Haldir, the true mate of her soul, even unto the ending of the world.

**Elvish Translations**:

**meldis**-female friend

**meldir**-male friend

**ellon- male elf**


	4. Moonlit revelations

_**AN**__: Hullo lovely readers. I hope you enjoy this new chapter. Please review, reviews make me very happy, and happiness makes me write faster!!!!! __**HINT, HINT! **__Lol. Also, this chapter is on the short side, but kind its of intense so I felt it was appropriate to cut it short._

_Also cherish15 brought up a couple of excellent points in her review. Yes, they are falling in love rather quickly, but I did this on purpose to sort of emulate Tolkien's approach to love stories. If you think about it, the really great love stories in his works happen super fast, and its usually very intense. So thats what I was aiming for. Also, this is set about a thousand years before the War of the Ring. I've taken creative license to make Legolas about 100 years old, but a babe to the elves, and Haldir to be a thousand-five hundred, give or take. Ithilwen is also a hundred. _

_Thanks again to Hope and Love,__cherish15__, and __LumiIrene__ for being such wonderful readers and reviewing. __J You guys are the best._

_**Disclaimer**__: Uhmmmm......nope, still don't own squat, with the exception of OCs and plot of course!_

_**HAPPY READING!**_

_Ithilwen sighed contentedly, feeling safe and cozy in her lover's arms. Half- asleep, she ran her fingers through Haldir's white-blonde hair, delighting in the luxuriously silky feeling. Moving on from his hair, she began to knead his hard shoulders and muscled arms. He was always so tense, so ready for any and all dangers that came his way. Ithilwen smiled when her husband groaned at her ministrations. "Woman can you give me no rest? All night you kept me from my sleep, you she-devil. Leave me be for a spell and I'll take care of you later." His words were stern but she could hear the smile in his voice. _

"_As I recall, it was _you_ who kept me from _my_ sleep. I was merely returning the favor," she retorted saucily. He pulled her higher and tighter against his body so that he could look her in the eye. _

"_Perhaps I should refresh both our memories," he purred, and she shuddered as he knew she would. She was always so receptive to him. She screamed in mock fury when he crushed his lips to hers. The feeling of contentment and joy inside her were so great that they threatened tear her apart. But at this particular point in time, she would honestly not even notice. _

Ithilwen awoke from her dream with a gasp. It had had felt so real that for a moment she thought she could still smell him in her bed, still feel his hair against her cheek. She sat up on her bed, knowing she would be unable to go back to sleep. Ithilwen went to her window and looked to the moon. There were still a few hours till dawn, she might as well go for a walk, perhaps she would tire and go back to sleep later.

She wrapped a long, dark blue robe about herself and went out the door. The night air was chilly, but she welcomed the cold. Perhaps it would banish the memories of warmth that she was trying to forget. Why were the Valar so cruel? They sent her terrifying visions of her future with Haldir, then tantalized her with what she could not have. That had been no dream, she knew this in her bones. She walked down the shining steps of her talan, still deep in thought. She had thought to walk about the gardens Galadriel had shown her the day before. They had been so beautiful she craved to see them again by the light of the moon. The glowing lights surrounding the mellorn trees were soothing, and she took her time walking through Lothlorien. She felt the power of the Lady enveloping her, as if she sensed her need for comfort, and a deep sense of peace replaced the foreboding in her heart, at least for a little while.

* * *

Haldir lay with his hands crossed behind his back, staring intently at the cieling. He had to rest, but no matter what he did he could not stop thinking about the stunning elleth with the silver eyes. He had heard that it could be like this between soul mates. That it was like lightning in its speed and thunder in its intensity the way these feelings developed. It had happened so with Luthien and Beren, Melian and Thingol. He recalled the story of Elwe, lord of the Teleri and his wife Melian the Maia, how the noble elf had been frozen by his love, without speaking a word, for years untold. He knew didn't love her, at least not yet, but he felt bewitched by her... it was certainly not like anything he had ever felt before; although of course Ithilwen was no Melian, no matter how noble she thought she was. The elleth was a spoiled one, he knew, but he didn't much mind. She was still young, a mere century old, and with time she was bound to mature. Haldir pushed himself out of bed. It was no use trying to sleep, he had too much on his mind. Perhaps a walk would ease his mind.

Quickly and efficiently he dressed and made his way out of his talan. He briskly descended the winding stairs and found himself walking through Galadriel's gardens. They were beautiful, he had to admit, niphredil and elanor grew in intricate arrangements. He was absentmindedly running his hand through the flowers as he walked when he saw her.

She lay on the grass, her hands streched to the sides, staring dreamily at the arch made of delicate niphredil, they glowed silver, bathed as they were by moonlight. His breath caught in his throat. Her normally golden curls had turned silver in the white light. Her skin was transluscent, her eyes shone as pure as liquid mithril.

"**Gîl síla na lû govaded, **beautiful one**,**" She sat up, her eyes wide at his greeting.

"Haldir," she breathed, taking him in. He was lovelier to her than he had ever been, his blue eyes softened to a grey and his fine hair more luminous than usual. "**Mae govannen**."

Slowly she stood, unable to break the eye contact. "What are you doing here?" she asked softly.

"I could not sleep."

"Neither could I," she smiled shyly. Abruptly, the smile vanished, only to be replaced by a frown. "I have to go," she tried to walk past him but he pulled her back. "Unhand me, Haldir, I've no patience for your games tonight." He looked incredulously at her.

"You think _I _play games?" he was suddenly angry, his lips curled back with unconcealed frustration. "Do you even hear yourself, elleth?" He let her go and began to pace before her.

"Do you think this is easy for me then? To be so drawn to an elleth, one out of my reach at that, and having her spurn me at every opportunity?!" He roughly grasped the back of her neck and lay his forehead against hers. "Do you not feel as I?" his voice turned hoarse. "This strange pull," she was shocked at his behavior, but unable to move out of his reach. He pulled back and gazed into her eyes intently, imploringly, searching for an answer.

"Do you?" his eyes were beseeching her, begging her to say yes. "_Please_," his voice was so earnest, so vulnerable that her heart clenched.

Ithilwen took a deep breath and looked at him steadily. "No," she lied. "I leave within the week Haldir, and you will never see me again. Do as you will until then. I only avoided you in order to spare your feelings, you are so obviously enamoured of me, but I care not one way or another."

His breath burst out of his lungs in a rush, but she continued in an uninterested voice.

"Good night Haldir, I hope you cease this foolishness before you hurt yourself." Without another word she slipped past him, half running back to her talan. Haldir stood frozen, unable to comprehend what was happening.

He knew then without a doubt that he had been fooling himself; he loved her, just as the Valar had decreed. It didn't matter that he barely knew her, and that the parts of her he did know were less than attractive. A part of his soul knew that she was his; meant for him, no _made_ for him, even before time itself had been born. The keenest misery washed over him and he numbly wondered if this is how Beren had felt when Luthien ran from him. Thoughts whirled around his head but nothing penetrated the cold feeling that had welled in his chest. The elf did not move an inch from his spot until well after dawn.

He did not even notice.

* * *

Ithilwen had shut herself in her room, breathing hard. _His eyes_, she thought her heart would shatter at the memory of his expression at her cold words. She clenched her eyes shut, trying in vain to banish the guilt she was feeling. Numbly she climbed into bed once more, curling into a tight ball. Her eyes burned but she didn't cry. It was for the best. She had to believe this, hold onto it if she was going to stay sane. Over and over she said it like a mantra, for hours she did this mindlessly. So why couldn't she make herself believe it?

**Elvish Translations:**

**gîl síla na lû govaded- **a star shines at the hour of our meeting

**mae govannen-**well met

elleth-female elf

ellon-male elf


End file.
